Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
