it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
