Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
