just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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