He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
