If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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