Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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