Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
tell me about the fingering
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
