The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
