Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
