wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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