I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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