My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
