don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize