Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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