I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I just found a bag of teeth...
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
