I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
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