hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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