i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
