Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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