apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
