It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
