no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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