how can u be prego again
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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