This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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