Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize