she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
