the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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