my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
