Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
