I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
