New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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