i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
