I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
