I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
