Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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