Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize