whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
