Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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