She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize