Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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