Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
