3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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