Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I intend to get homeless drunk
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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