Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
