He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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