i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
