I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize