i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
