What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Randomize
