there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
