look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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