well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
