he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize
