Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
