i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
