I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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