she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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