So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize