I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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