so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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