It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
