Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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