You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
