Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
