She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
