My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
