Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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