It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
