I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm getting married
To pizza
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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