Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
