Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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